Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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