he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
