They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
