Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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