Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Screwed.edu
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
