you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I look better un-naked...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
