We won't sleep together?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
