this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
