Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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