yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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