It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Floor bacon is actually really good
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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