i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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