can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
