Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
