The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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