I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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