u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
