how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
a search helicopter?!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
