you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
