i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
