I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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