College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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