batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
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