I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
