and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
