So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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