super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize