Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
