Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
