the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
