i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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