dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
