Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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