I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
