you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
