the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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