Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
