The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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