1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
