the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
