Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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