I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
