All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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