In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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