Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
