it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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