are you still at the devil's house?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
