The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
