I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
a search helicopter?!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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