my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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