is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
