I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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