The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize