All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
