this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
