i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
