Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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