they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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