that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
