Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
