i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
