he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
