would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
