She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
