Buhtt sex?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
