I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
