It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
