my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
