I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
