His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
