Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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