next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
