We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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