She is in my trunk
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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