Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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