I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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